Saturday, December 3, 2011

We're pregnant & 10 Months left till graduation

Well, we're pregnant, and we are totally stoked. Paulette is actually 19 weeks along, and due April 26, 2012. We are so excited to begin this long awaited chapter in our lives, and all the new experiences that brings. Over the past 8 years, Paulette and I have grown closer as husband and wife, and as friends. We have also observed parenting styles that we liked and others that we know for sure we will not implement. Obviously, we will have the same learning curve any new parents experience, but we feel more prepared. And that helps aliviate the anxiety since the unknown is not truly unknown.

School is also going well. This term, I have Med/Surg II, Sociology, and Humanities, along with clinicals on Mondays(12Hr shifts). 10 months to go till graduation. The workload and utter insanity, as well as lack of sleep and stress relief will soon come to an end and be replaced with something different. Thats right more stress, but it will be something I will enjoy going to work for.

Have a happy holiday season.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Back to School and Adjusting to Life

Well, it's been a while to say the least. A lot has happened but i am going to skip ahead to NOW. I just went back to school. I am attending Fortis College to get an Associate in Nursing. I decided a few months back that i was tired of just working at a JOB (Just Over Broke). I wanted a career, that paid well and would be something i would enjoy doing for years.

I just had finals last night for my first term. I actually got 100% on the test, and it felt good. this term I had Psychology 101 and College Success 100. Psychology really helped me understand myself better, as well as my family and extended family. It caused me to reflect on dreams and goals i had back in high school as a senior. Some things I did pursue, others not yet but I plan to now that I have been reminded.

This past week, my wife's grandfather died. He was 91 years old, and a friend to all those who knew him. Over the past few weeks leading upto his death, the family was in absolute turmoil. I love my Mother and Father in-law, and appreciate the example they are to me. I know that they have had many trials and obstacles in their lives, and even more stupid family members to deal with. I don't say stupid because they are unintelligent or uninformed in any way, but because they choose to act contrary to a sane person. Dumb is lack of intelligence, stupid is a consciences choice to do or say dumb things. I am gratefull for my wife and for what I have learned.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

my wife

Over the last few days, I have been thinking alot about my wife, Paulette. Not in a dirty way, but how much she really makes me happy and what a blessing she is in my life. Just a little history about us.... We have known each other since we were kids, 31/2 years old infact, and we have been best friends ever since. As I think back, I know that she always liked me. In kindergarden our sisters were friends, so I would go with Kimmy to walk to school with Jen and Paulette. My shy heart almost burst when she kissed me on the way to school one day. I was five and didn't know what to think so I turned red in the face and kept walking to school. Since then, we were always friends. I can honestly say that in Jr High, and High School we weren't as close of friends. I was spending alot of time in afterschool activities, and Paulette had her music. Although now I know that those years would have been easier with another shoulder to lean on. We went to church together but we just weren't as close. Our senior year was the year that we started to hang out more and a few more friends came into our wierd group. It wasn't until we graduated and I was getting ready to go on a mission that I began to realize that I was falling in love. However I had already sent in my mission papers and decided I was going and why complicate things. I also conviently left out that I was chicken when speaking to people, especially girls. Infact, I would have left to go to Argentina without even asking her out on a single date, then she asked me out to dinner and a movie. We watched Prince of Egypt and named Bobfag the Camel. When I took her home, I felt pretty bad and couldn't stand it so I said, "You'll probably be married when I get back." Then I left. On my mission, I was very busy, and wasn't very good about writting letters home. When I got home, I was home for a day and a half then flew to Arizona to see Paulette. Nice when you're parents move while you're gone. Paulette left that next monday to go on her mission to Australia. When she got home, I waited 6months to call her because I was afraid that she may have changed or that she may not feel the same about me. Anyways.... to make a long story short, we were married July 5, 2003 in the Mesa Arizona temple. Like any new couple, we have our strugles and things that we want to improve. At times in the past, things have seemed almost unbearable. It has been a continuing learning process to sort out feelings, desires, and why things cause certain feelings, and desires. I love my wife very much and i what her to be happy. I hope that i can be the strenght that she needs.

Well tomorrow, I will be 29 years old. I have received the reality that I am older than I want and have accomplished little, as to my aspirations in High School. I have a strong desire to go back to school and get a degree in something. I still am torn between what I would enjoy doing as a long term career. I enjoy many things and I am utterly befuddled as to what one thing I could see myself doing in 30 years. I would enjoy Nursing, or anything in the Medical field. As well as Fabrication in sheet metal or Steel works. Woodworking, computers (networking, programming, building, Tech), construction, retail, manager positions(business Management), Engineering(mechanical or electrical), Dental(dentist, hygienist), Sales(BY FAR MY LEAST FAVORITE), Design(CAD, Interior Design), Drafting, and so forth.

I feel stuck in that I have a job that barely pays the bills with enough left for food and to have $20 spending money(for 2 weeks). I just feel that I work hard and just can’t get ahead of the bills. At least, with my new job in Utah I won’t need to worry about the company going out of business. We are a specialized company that does a lot for the military and medical industries. I enjoy my job and love the company. I just don’t know what kind of raises if any I’ll get. I’ve been burned by more than one company that requires you to meet the work load of 3 people, and gives you 20 cents and hour raise per year. I don’t mean to just sound complaining. I just think better if I can see and review my thoughts. Then I can see if this is really the way I feel or if I don’t quite understand it all yet. This blog is for my random ramblings and thoughts. Hope you get insight as to my true thoughts and feelings and the love I have for life, even with the hard times. Until my sanity returns, hopefully soon.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008


Many things have happened in the last 6 months. I have learned much about myself and the person that I would like to be. I still fail to understand what heavenly father wants me to learn from these experiences. I pray each day that he can help me to understand and be the servant that he needs me to be. I wonder sometimes, why we are given so many oportunities to fail. I know that it is the advarsary that wishes us to fall into sin and lost paths. Just the same it is discouraging when is comes with such persistance. I love my wife with all my heart. I know that through these trials, we will only become stronger. Tempered in the fire of satan himself. There must be something that we are to do, or one of our childeren, because the forces striving to destroy us are almost unbearable at times. To my wife I say; I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!

Monday, February 11, 2008

What You Mean to Me....

A long time ago, I met a girl. She was far from ordinary, and had a heart that had no bounds. She became my friend, and we used to walk to school together. And on the way to school one morning in kindergarden, she kissed me. Yes she is now my wife, known her since we were
3 1/2. Unfortunately, Paulette and I were not the most popular growing up and we were always good friends. However, between 7 and 14 years old we didn't hang out much. Mostly because I was getting picked on and was more worried about my own survival. Now I wish that I had been there for her more. Anyways, in high school we became good friends again, and senior year spent alot of time together. She asked me to prom, and said yes but didn't end up going together because of other retarded idiots. We will leave that one alone. We were all just friends and nothing more, until the end of senior year I really began to like Paulette. I still say atleast once a day just how cute she is. I truly love her with all my heart. Well I was preparing to go on a mission so I wasn't about to tell her how I felt. That's the excuse I chose and I'm sticking to it. So, before I left to go to Argentina, she asked me out to dinner and a movie. We saw "The Prince Of Egypt", and so we were introduced to BOBFAG the Camel. Anyway at the end of the night, I took her home and was pretty down. And I let slip "you'll probably be married when I get home". I turned red then left. Then I went to the MTC and then to argentina. We wrote some, but I will be the first to admitt that I hate writting. Then 6 weeks before I got home, I get and announcement that Paulette is going on a mission. So I get home to new york, parents moved while I was gone, I'm home for a day and a half then fly to arizona to see Paulette before she goes to Australia. My mom was pissed to say the least. And yes, I didn't write much. When she got home, I was just too chicken butt to call her, for 6 months. We came to phoenix for a family picture, and I came out a day earlier. I went to her work, and she was just as beautiful as I had remembered. We practically spent those 4 days together straight. We also went to the temple in mesa, az and did sealings. Something interesting happened, but you'll have to ask paulette. Then I left to go back to utah where I was living at the time. A week latter, my dad got tickets to general conference, and just happened to have an extra ticket. He knew how I felt and for the life of me, I can talk to strangers on the street about the gospel. I can give a talk to a large group of people. But I have the hardest time talking to a girl that I remotly like. I called Paulette to ask if she wanted to come up for conference. And she said yes. I didn't know what I would do once she got here, but I can say that the only time in my life when I prayed more was on my mission. The rest, you'll have to ask Paulette, because I was a chicken and self incrimination is protected by law. I love my sweetheart and hope that the love that she has for me will only continue to grow as my love for her does day by day.


Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Ever wondered why we get frustrated? What is frustration? The dictionary says:
1) something that frustrates, as an unresolved problem.
2) a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from
unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.
When one thinks of frustration, it's easy to see that these definitions are true of the worlds outlook and understanding. I invite you to ponder as I have of the comments of a general authority. I can't remmeber who or what conference but it was used in a talk given in the Spring Meadows ward in Payson, UT. He said, "frustration is a result of others not meeting or living upto our pre-set expectations." If you think of this statement with a spirit of humility, you as I, know this to be true. Frustrated is something that we choose to be. However, it is one of the things that we should strive never to be. All too often, the ones with whom we are frustrated, are the ones that we love the most ie; spouse, childeren, brothers, sisters, parents, ect. We must make a choice where we want our priorities to be. By making that choice, we take that first crucial step towards eliminating frustration, malice, anxiety, and any other ill feelings from our lives. Choose love!