What You Mean to Me....

A long time ago, I met a girl. She was far from ordinary, and had a heart that had no bounds. She became my friend, and we used to walk to school together. And on the way to school one morning in kindergarden, she kissed me. Yes she is now my wife, known her since we were
3 1/2. Unfortunately, Paulette and I were not the most popular growing up and we were always good friends. However, between 7 and 14 years old we didn't hang out much. Mostly because I was getting picked on and was more worried about my own survival. Now I wish that I had been there for her more. Anyways, in high school we became good friends again, and senior year spent alot of time together. She asked me to prom, and said yes but didn't end up going together because of other retarded idiots. We will leave that one alone. We were all just friends and nothing more, until the end of senior year I really began to like Paulette. I still say atleast once a day just how cute she is. I truly love her with all my heart. Well I was preparing to go on a mission so I wasn't about to tell her how I felt. That's the excuse I chose and I'm sticking to it. So, before I left to go to Argentina, she asked me out to dinner and a movie. We saw "The Prince Of Egypt", and so we were introduced to BOBFAG the Camel. Anyway at the end of the night, I took her home and was pretty down. And I let slip "you'll probably be married when I get home". I turned red then left. Then I went to the MTC and then to argentina. We wrote some, but I will be the first to admitt that I hate writting. Then 6 weeks before I got home, I get and announcement that Paulette is going on a mission. So I get home to new york, parents moved while I was gone, I'm home for a day and a half then fly to arizona to see Paulette before she goes to Australia. My mom was pissed to say the least. And yes, I didn't write much. When she got home, I was just too chicken butt to call her, for 6 months. We came to phoenix for a family picture, and I came out a day earlier. I went to her work, and she was just as beautiful as I had remembered. We practically spent those 4 days together straight. We also went to the temple in mesa, az and did sealings. Something interesting happened, but you'll have to ask paulette. Then I left to go back to utah where I was living at the time. A week latter, my dad got tickets to general conference, and just happened to have an extra ticket. He knew how I felt and for the life of me, I can talk to strangers on the street about the gospel. I can give a talk to a large group of people. But I have the hardest time talking to a girl that I remotly like. I called Paulette to ask if she wanted to come up for conference. And she said yes. I didn't know what I would do once she got here, but I can say that the only time in my life when I prayed more was on my mission. The rest, you'll have to ask Paulette, because I was a chicken and self incrimination is protected by law. I love my sweetheart and hope that the love that she has for me will only continue to grow as my love for her does day by day.

SHMILY
james

Frustration

Ever wondered why we get frustrated? What is frustration? The dictionary says:
1) something that frustrates, as an unresolved problem.
2) a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from
unfulfilled needs or unresolved problems.
When one thinks of frustration, it's easy to see that these definitions are true of the worlds outlook and understanding. I invite you to ponder as I have of the comments of a general authority. I can't remmeber who or what conference but it was used in a talk given in the Spring Meadows ward in Payson, UT. He said, "frustration is a result of others not meeting or living upto our pre-set expectations." If you think of this statement with a spirit of humility, you as I, know this to be true. Frustrated is something that we choose to be. However, it is one of the things that we should strive never to be. All too often, the ones with whom we are frustrated, are the ones that we love the most ie; spouse, childeren, brothers, sisters, parents, ect. We must make a choice where we want our priorities to be. By making that choice, we take that first crucial step towards eliminating frustration, malice, anxiety, and any other ill feelings from our lives. Choose love!

I love my paul paul

When I think of what makes me happy, I have to think and ask what real happieness is. I feel that over the last 5 years, I have really had to ponder and try to understand. Happieness is a feeling of joy, contentment, love, selflessness, charity, the desire to do more. When people say they are happy, many confuse momentary pleasure or lots of money as one that is happy. However, being happy is not only these situations or feelings but a state of being.... I sometimes struggle to be content with what I have, and just be happy. But the constant buffitings and trials really weigh on my mind, body, and sanity. I want to say just how much I love my wife and how happy she makes me. Sometimes I feel insanity comming on but then realize that it's just my own stupidity that is the root of the crazyness. I hope that the one who means the most understands these rants and ravings.